SPECIMEN 04 / UNEXPLAINED FURNITURE

THE BLACK
PHILL

Four legs. One stare.
Absolutely no reason to be here.

ENTER PUMP.FUNX / TWITTER
The Black Phill
DO NOT
FEED THE
FURNITURE
SCROLL TO INSPECT ↓
PHILSA — THE TABLE IS WATCHING — PHILSA — PLEASE DO NOT SIT — PHILSA — FOUR FEET / ZERO CHAIRS —
01

FIELD NOTES

IT WASN'T
ALWAYS A TABLE.

Nobody remembers what Phill was before the room went dark. By morning, there were four feet on the floor, a perfect flat back, and the same disappointed expression.

He does not move when observed. This is technically true.

Phill close up
SURFACE: WARM
MOOD: UNREADABLE
HEIGHT: INCONVENIENT

HOUSE RULES

PHILL HAS
BOUNDARIES.

01Do not ask why he has four human feet.
02Do not place hot drinks on Phill.
03If Phill blinks, leave the room normally.
04Never call him a desk.
Phill peeking

THE ROOM IS EMPTY.

PHILL IS
STILL HERE.

The Black Phill

IDENTIFICATION

THE BLACK PHILL

$PHILSA
CONTRACT ADDRESSSOON
X / TWITTERPUMP.FUN

PLEASE RETURN PHILL TO THE ROOM WHEN FINISHED.

COPIED